She straddles him between her legs like a forlorn heartbroken lover, trying to make him remember the sensation of how her dermis once penetrated through her epidermis, and soaked into his wooden bloodstream. The horse hair of her bow gives a precious syrupy gleam as the blonde waterfall profuses spilling over her lover’s nervous breast, her hair entwining with his. Violent melodies issued that would send a small baby to an early grave and an old man to Nirvana.
Jane was not remorseful or considerate of her lover’s agony, she was bent on extracting the art out of him, setting his mahogany body ablaze with the heat of percussion. But she did not make music, she was a phantom to him. That poor boy did not budge or yelp in fright but absorbed it all, her mania, her hair, her chaos, her epidermis, her dermis, her vapor, her bile. It was over but their intercourse still lay on me, elevating me for a few seconds and then shoving me back inside my physical realm.
A whole, perfectly salted drop bled from my tear duct.
Such a melding….So rich…your writing always offers more than what is there…
That’s actually exactly what I intend to capture in my writing. I’m just not ready to write long descriptive passages about characters and long winding narratives! I believe that its possible to achieve impact through brevity and manipulation of language. I wish I could write a two paged novel and get away with it hahha
So much wonderful imagery.
thanks for your consistent feedback, I love it!
adorable
Brilliant
Thank you dear Janna
short, precise and intriguing. That’s what I love about your writing but fail to exercise in mine.
That’s because you trust your characters, and you don’t want to give them a limited space to express themselves, and there’s nothing wrong with that! At the moment, I trust Language, so I let the words do all the talking, you speak through your characters.
I cannot compliment you enough on this stuff. Intelligent, witty, wry, pasted with sarcasm, graphic, funny-hilarious, intelligent again. Maybe you should keep your stuff short, certainly for a book. Keep on Haiku-ing it. This is the work of a genius. I do not say this just you have complimented me on my scribbling. I would paste your writings onto my drawings to make my drawings pop up, and be better drawings. I would scotch tape them to my walls. And read them out loud at parties on Friday nights.
wow, thank you Tim, this made me so happy. Especially the last sentence haha. I would be honoured to have my work read out by someone who appreciates it so much. I’m interested in allowing different perspectives to surface in my work, rather than a singular voice. Even if I were to write a book, I probably won’t write it in a conventional manner, since there is apparently nothing conventional about the way I think. I’m beginning to have alot of faith in micro-narration!